I recently read this article and I think it’s becoming more common that people are placing themselves in a “victim” mentality nowadays.
In light of that, I realized that I, too, can get offended by some things or want to correct people a lot. I just keep it to myself, usually. XD So I looked up some articles on how not to be offended at everything. I’ll definitely apply these tips to my mindset from now on, and I hope they will also bring a useful perspective to your own situation.
Sometimes I think what it all boils down to is how much power we give others over ourselves. Like I wrote in my Depression journal, we each have the ability to stand up and reign in our minds and reactions. It’s easier to blame everyone else for making us feel bad, but a sign of maturity is knowing that you are the only one who can dictate what you feel—and your state of mind and happiness are no one’s responsibility but your own. And when it comes to the subject of differing opinions, it’s especially pointless to make a fuss over what other people choose to do or believe in, be it a hobby, religion, or someone’s art style.
Life is short. Let’s try to enjoy what little time we have on this planet. If you’re going to worry, worry about your own life and what you are doing. Let other people deal with their own problems.
Recently I was talking with Mana-Ramp-Matoran and it came up that a lot of people don’t really know how to leave helpful constructive criticism or feedback. As an art community, it’s paramount to know how to deliver your message in a way that can be received by the artist. Of course, while we can’t control how the artist takes it, we can at least control our own attitude and word choice.
This brief journal talks about some things that might make you think twice before you leave a generic comment (especially when it comes to language barriers; this is an international website, after all):
The Art of MisunderstandingCompliments are a bit of a tricky and weird thing.
Especially on an international webpage.
=> the misunderstanding
In Switzerland you can tell someone who's a cool person that they are "en geile siech". Now, this is a really big compliment here, even though it's not considered the most polite vocabulary. Still, big compliment.
If you translate that 1:1 into any other language, you will tell the other person they are a sexually arousing and rotting corpse of a horse.
Don't do that, most people don't will look kindly on it. d:
Of course the same problem exists in the other way too. I was feeling rather saddened by the first one who told me that my drawings are "da shit". I had NO idea that this is a positive thing! I just assumed the other person told me that my works were bad. Thankfully, I asked them why they thought of my drawings as bad, which helped clearing that misunderstanding up really fast.
=> "Looks like Ghibli!"
After a few years on dA, I started to hate
And here are three articles from the same blog that I think are very insightful. The first talks about how to craft a good constructively critical comment, the second is about handling criticism yourself, and the third has tips on how to deal with critical people who are always “bringing you down.”
If the artist still takes your feedback poorly, it’s wise to simply apologize for the misunderstanding and back down as graciously as you can. It’s tempting to react defensively and write off the artist as an overly sensitive crybaby, but you never really know what they’re going through at the time. Maybe they were having a bad day, your comment caught them off guard, or they were distracted while reading your message and missed the positive things you wrote.
Remember, writing a piece of helpful feedback is actually simpler than you might think. It doesn't have to be longer than a couple of sentences, though of course you could write an essay if you wanted to. XD
Personally, I like to use the sandwich method:
Write one or two sentences about what you like about the art (photo, story, sculpture, etc.),
a sentence about something you think could be improved (and if you have an idea on how to do it, maybe add a little suggestion but realize the artist may not do what you suggest),
and then write a last sentence summarizing why you liked the art enough to spend time making a thoughtful comment. That last sentence is going to end your message with a positive tone, which should help the artist realize that you have good intentions and are not out to tear them down.
I'd like to thank everyone who answered my survey. I got more responses than I had hoped for! Curiously enough, while I was comparing all the answers I noticed something that I hadn't really expected. Everyone who took part was asked to list three things they were most thankful for. The answers were varied, but there was one constant in every single answer: one of the things each participant said they were thankful for was the people in their lives; be it family, friends, or just someone willing to chat or go someplace.
Cherish your relationships! No matter if one is shy or introverted or has lost some faith in humanity, the people we surround ourselves with impact the quality of our lives-- for better or for worse. So I thought it might be appropriate to link to some relationship-themed articles. Communication, friendship, conflict resolution, etc. There's a lot to cover and I encourage you to look up more info on any subject that interests you personally. For moment, here are a few articles covering the more helpful and essential topics:
How to be a good friend
Surround yourself with good people
How to comfort someone who is sad/crying
Accept people just as they are
The gift of a good fight
If you have any suggestions or questions, feel free to send me a note with some links or ask about a certain topic and I will do my best to get back to you in a timely manner.